


When We're In the Darkness

by idwir



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Explicit in chapter 5, F/M, but not raped, selina gets roofied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-11
Packaged: 2019-04-30 18:37:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14503083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idwir/pseuds/idwir
Summary: songfic.Half Light by BannersBruce parties, Selina doesn't like what she sees.





	1. Chapter 1

_It makes me feel nervous_  
_You have that look in your eye_  
 _Oh, what takes over?_  
 _What is it that holds you tight?_

Selina was shocked the first time she saw him drunk, one arm slung around a girl while another had her legs hooked over his knee. She wanted to laugh but her heart hurt.

Was it the girls? Or was it that Bruce looked like shit?

She put up her walls, bracing herself.

He had acted like an ass but for just a second she almost thought she saw the old Bruce, his eyes pleading to be saved from what he was becoming. Then one of the girls grabbed his hand, whisking his attention away.

Before, Selina wouldn’t have watched. She would’ve slipped away, quiet and sure. Before, Bruce would’ve looked back at her until she disappeared.

 _And you can tear it up_  
_No one tears it up like you_  
_You can rip it up_  
_No one rips it up like you_

One of her friends snuck her in the back door. The club is packed, lights are flashing, lighting up the dance floor every other second. Selina rolls her eyes at a woman flirting with a man. Just get a room already.

She easily makes her way through the crowd, body lithe enough that no one notices her. That’s a lie.

Multiple men try to grab her waist or get her to dance but she’s too quick. She’s only looking for one man tonight.

She spots her mark at a bar. He’s leaning on his elbows, waiting.

Robert Llewelyn. He’s handsome but almost twice her age which is why she has clear instructions to find out about his company and his schedule then get out.

Selina pushes a man out of her way and squeezes between two people so that she ends up by him. She pretends to stumble and grabs his arm to catch her balance.

“I am so sorry,” she giggles, hand still on his arm. She gives him a smile but his eyes are on every part of her but her face. Exactly as Barbara intended. “Buy me a drink?”

An hour later, they’re on the dance floor and she only knows half of what she needs to. Cologne clogs her nose and makes her feel dizzy. Robert is grinding his hips into hers repeatedly and her arms are hooked over his shoulders. When he’s not looking, she rolls her eyes.

She does a double take when she sees Bruce, face half hidden in shadows. She really shouldn’t be surprised by now but she’s known him for six years and for the majority of those six years, he had been a kind, respectful young man.

The magazines tell her all about who he is now.

He looks up and their eyes meet. Then a girl - a different one from each of the last three times she’s seen him - grabs his face and kisses him. His eyes never leave hers and it makes her feel sick. Sick to her stomach and heartsick.

She should look away but she feels out of it. She can’t look away.

“Let’s get out of here,” Robert whisper-slurs in her ear.

“I’m not done dancing,” Selina says and she realizes that she’s forgotten to sound seductive and forgotten to keep dancing.

Bruce pulls away from the girl and smirks at Selina. She tries to make a face but doesn’t know how successful she is.

“Hey,” Robert says, looking over his shoulder. “Who’s that?”

Selina grabs his collar and gets his attention back on her. She manages to keep him dancing for the next twenty minutes but he’s beyond wasted, beyond slipping up and giving her intel, she can barely understand what he’s saying.

She decides it’s time to cut her losses. She’s feeling worse as the night goes on. She hopes she’s not getting sick.

She unhooks her arms from around his neck and turns to slip away, unnoticed. His grip on her arm is strong when he whips her back around.

She looks into his eyes and he looks annoyed and more coherent than he should. She thinks he’s tricked her. Somehow he already knew what she was doing. Then he says, “I’m not done with you, yet.”

Next thing she knows, he’s pulling her through the crowd and Selina can’t loosen his grip. She had decided a couple of drinks wouldn’t hurt but she was wrong because her senses aren’t as sharp as they should be.

He drags her out a service entrance into a dark alleyway. It smells like garbage rotting and she wants to gag. She tries to scream but her tongue is heavy in her mouth.

Robert pushes her up against the wall and she can’t even struggle. The world is spinning and she hates it.

“You only drank one drink I bought you,” Robert hisses, face close to hers. “Until you saw that billionaire boy brat.”

She closes her eyes.

Then she’s falling to the ground and her eyes are open. Billionaire Boy Brat had grabbed Robert away from her. She sees him swing, his fist barely connecting with Robert’s cheek.

It’s sloppy. Bruce is clearly still drunk but Robert’s not trained the way he has. Robert drinks and sits behind desks and goes to meetings. Before Bruce started partying he’d trained daily with Alfred and had even spent time on the streets, learning from Selina.

Bruce starts with the upper hand but then Robert gets in a good whack to Bruce’s head. As Bruce staggers, Robert tackles him to the ground, punching him again and again.

Selina can’t keep her eyes open.

Robert grabs for a broken bottle that’s rolled away from the trash heap, glittering in the moonlight. Bruce bucks his hips upward, unseating Robert.

By the time he gets to his feet, Robert is on his knees and he stabs Bruce in the side. Bruce cries out.

He’s done for. He doesn’t care.

“Hey!” a voice shouts from the end of the alley. Robert runs.

Bruce crawls over to Selina. He cups her cheek and whispers her name.

“You okay, man?” It’s one of the bartenders.

In the dark alleyway, he can’t see the blood, especially on Bruce’s black clothes. Bruce rests his head against the wall, one hand holding Selina’s, trying to catch his breath. “Yeah.”

“I was coming out for a smoke break when I heard you yell. Want me to call the police?”

“No.” He knows Selina doesn’t like dealing with them and Bruce isn’t keen on seeing Detective Gordon any time soon.

“Let me call someone for you.”

Bruce doesn’t say anything more. He crouches by Selina’s side and bites his cheek as pain flairs through his left side as he scoops her up and stands.

He walks away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and kudos! I appreciate it:)

_When you’re in the half light_   
_It is not you I see_   
_And you’ll live a half life_   
_You only show half to me_

When Selina wakes, her head is pounding. She can’t form coherent thoughts. All she knows is this isn’t her bed and she has no idea what time it is. It’s overcast outside which isn’t unusual for Gotham but even the little bit of light streaming through the drawn curtains hurts her eyes.

She hears retching and carefully rolls over. There’s another door, partly open and the angle from the bed to the door means she can see Bruce on his knees in front of the toilet.

Everything hurts and Selina decides she doesn’t need or want to see Bruce throwing up after his latest bender. She stops mid roll and her heart is racing.

_What the hell am I doing here? With Bruce._

They haven’t been on speaking terms for awhile now.

She thinks back. She vaguely remembers her mission and she thinks she remembers getting to the club but everything is blank after that. If she was on a mission, she wouldn’t be drinking.

_So why can’t I remember anything?_

Bruce coughs particularly hard and Selina groans. She rolls the rest of the way over so her back is to the bathroom. Her hand feels over the sheet. It’s stiff and she dreads what she’s going to see.

Her eyes widen at the large spot of blood.

“What the hell?” she murmurs, her voice hoarse. Her hands run over her body.

The toilet flushes and she slides her feet to the floor. She has to steady herself before pushing herself up and she still stumbles.

She can’t even wrinkle her nose at the stench of vomit lingering in the air. She’s too busy holding on to the doorway, waiting for everything to stop spinning. Her eyes closed, she blindly reaches out and flips off the light.

After a moment, the sink is turned off and Bruce says, “Selina.”

She opens her eyes. He’s wiping his face on a towel.

“What the hell happened last night?” she demands. “Why am I here?”

Bruce’s gaze is cold but part of him seems familiar. Without the red eyes and slurred words, there’s just the dark circles and angry expression. He seems conflicted.

“You should sit,” he tells her and she can’t read him - his face, his voice, his body language. Then again it could be because he had swollen bruises across the left side of his face.

He doesn’t offer her help and when she gets to the bed she sees the blood again. _One thing at a time._

His hands are shoved in his jeans pockets and he studies her face as he stands in front of her. She doesn’t like him towering over her.

“Who was that man you were with last night?” he asks.

“I can’t remember anything,” she admits, feeling vulnerable. Selina Kyle did not do vulnerable.

“You should know he roofied you.” Bruce looks sick but she’s sure it’s just the hangover. Then his words settle over her.

She can’t breathe. “Did he - did he -”

“No,” his tone has a finality to it.

If her brain was working she would’ve put the pieces together faster. His mess of a pale, pale face, his bruised knuckles, his stiffer than usual posture, the way he reached out to steady himself on the nightstand. The new Bruce Wayne didn’t pick fights with people who could kick his ass.

“Are you hurt?” she asks, standing and immediately regretting it. She forces herself to stay standing. She doesn’t need him seeing her weak.

Even though apparently he had seen her weak. Last night.

Bruce shrugs. “I just wanted to let you know. You can go now.”

Selina glares. “Next time send a card or something. You could’ve just dropped me off at my place.”

“I couldn -” he cuts himself off. He turns his face so she can’t see him wince.

She reaches out. “Let me see, Bruce.”

“I don’t need -”

She grabs the hem of his shirt and he can’t stop her from pulling it over his head. She glares, ripping the gauze off of his skin.

“You idiot.”

“You can go, Selina,” he says again.

She turns them so that the bed is at his back now. She forces him to lie down. “You can’t just stick a patch on it. You need stitches, dummy.”

Bruce doesn’t point out that Alfred is no longer here to clean up his scrapes and Selina had been passed out for the better part of 12 hours. “It’s not your problem.”

Selina shoots him a scathing look. “Like hell it’s not. Where’s the kit?”

“Alfred kept one under his sink,” he admits begrudgingly.

She raises her eyebrows at that. “We’re in Alfred’s quarters?”

“Closest one to the door,” Bruce mutters. It explains why even though he doesn’t want to see her, he’d slept in the same bed.

Selina manages to find the kit with antiseptic, needles, thread, bandages. Her head is still throbbing but she’s feeling stronger. She cleans his wound thoroughly before starting on the stitches.

She’s on the third to the last stitch when she finally asks, “When are you gonna be done?”

He doesn’t answer and she looks up at his face. “Why are you even doing this?”

“I don’t want to talk, Selina.” He sounds tired. It is dark outside but she knows he won’t sleep even if he can.

“Tough shit,” she growls, tying off the last stitch and going to prod the cut on his temple. She starts cleaning it and says, “Well?”

His lips are still shut.

“Bruce. I don’t like who you’ve become,” she states.

He shrugs a shoulder. “I said you can leave.”

“You’re acting stupid.”

He whips his head to the side and she sighs, lifting her needle. “I don’t care what you think, Selina. I can’t be what everyone wants all the time. Alfred didn’t get it. He kept trying to fix me and I don’t want to be fixed. I just want to be left alone. My parents are dead. I don’t need him to pretend to be my father. I don’t need to be reminded that I fucked everything up.”

“Then stop reminding yourself and fucking everything” she says, pushing his face back harder than necessary.

“Stop telling me what to do.” Bruce stares straight ahead, one hand squeezing into a fist.

“Someone needs to. You fired Alfred,” she retorts. She ties off three stitches as quickly as possible, hoping to mess one up so Bruce will have an ugly scar on his pretty little face.

Bruce sits up. “You want parents so bad, you can invite Alfred to live with you.”

Selina glares at him and he glares back. “Alfred cares about you and you fired him. Poor little rich orphan boy. Your butler stuck around to make sure you’d be okay and you kicked him to the curb. Grow up, Bruce.”

His face smooths over and he stands. He’s in her space and she should really move but she stares at his chest, watches him take a breath. He opens his mouth.

Then his phone rings. Neither of them budge as he answers.

“Yeah, I’ll meet you there,” Bruce says, voice sounding excited, even as his face shows nothing. “I know. Shit happened last night. Okay. Yeah.”

He barely glances at her as he brushes past.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote part of this section when I could barely keep my eyes open so if the writing's crap, sorry. Also, to the anonymous commenter, idk if it's a daily thing. I wrote pretty much all of it in one sitting. I'm just fixing the shorter chapters. Here's another chapter because I can't concentrate on my studying.

_Sometimes I join you_   
_Let you wash over me_   
_When we’re in the darkness_   
_Only the blind can see_

Maybe she feels she owes him. Even though he was busy being a dick, he still stopped Robert from taking advantage of her. She doesn’t know why she lets Bruce in one night when he shows up at the place she and Tabi are staying.

She doesn’t even know how he found her. He wouldn’t say and Selina doesn’t beg.

She does know his arm is bleeding pretty heavily. Point is, she lets him in.

She stitches him up. She lets him kiss her. She lets him pull her between his legs from his seat on the toilet lid.

She lets him guide her out of the bathroom, attached at the lips, his good arm supporting her with his hand on her lower back as he guides her backwards.

He lets her lead the way to her bedroom.

She does not let him fuck her. Even though she can feel how badly he wants to through two thin layers of underwear. She tells him, “Go to sleep, Bruce.”

He groans. “Selina.”

She doesn’t stop him when he goes back to making out with her, keeping their bodies pressed together as he rolls them so she’s on top. He sits up to get better access to her neck. His mouth is on her collarbone and she’s panting for breath, her head thrown back and his mouth gets lower and she says, “Oh, god, okay, no. Stop.”

He freezes. She’s holding the back of his head so his face is pressed to her chest. She lifts herself a little to support herself on her knees so she can’t keep rubbing against his hard on.

“Go take a cold shower if you have to,” she finally tells him once she’s caught her breath and is able to get off of him.

He blinks and she turns her back to him, getting comfortable. She squeezes her thighs together, trying to resist the urge to get off dry humping Bruce.

His arm comes over her side, his hand pressed against her belly, and she sucks in a sharp breath. For a moment she thinks his fingers might slip into her panties but his hand stills and he rests his forehead between her shoulder blades.

Bruce doesn’t press up against her which is both a relief and a disappointment. She can feel him taking deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

Selina falls asleep to his breathing. She wakes up to the soft rustling of Bruce getting dressed, the moon still high in the night sky. He leaves almost silently.

He still comes back to see her or kiss her or whatever. Usually on nights that they accidentally end up at the same club.

Most nights that he is at her place, they make out, she lets him touch her because she’s not a fucking prude, she just doesn’t want to lose her virginity to Bruce when he’s out of his fucking mind.

When he’s yet to stay until morning.

Two nights a week turns into three and then sometimes four. She’s given up trying to make conversation. She opens the door and he kisses her. When he’s all over her, she breathes deep. Maybe one of these nights, she won’t smell sweat and alcohol.

Sometimes she wakes up and Bruce hasn’t left, yet, and he’s pulled her closer and she’ll feel his soft little breaths against her neck. She thinks that’s how they were supposed to be.

One night he sees her leave the club they’re at and instead of showing up later, he catches up with her. It’s still kind of early and Bruce still looks like he kind of knows what’s going on so she doesn’t slap him when he kisses her.

He can’t stop touching her and she thinks the walk to her place is sobering him up because each time he stops to pull her into an alleyway and kiss her she can feel his movements become more deliberate, his kisses become more firm.

Finally, they’re in the building and he’s kissing her in the elevator. She unlocks her door but then he’s pulling her back by the waist and kissing her neck. He turns her around and pushes her back against the door.

She reaches behind her to twist the doorknob.

Tabi clears her throat. Bruce doesn’t seem to notice or care but Selina pushes him away.

“Why don’t you two join us?” Barbara’s voice is velvet.

“Um, no, thank you,” Selina says, face red. “We were just gonna head to b - sleep.”

Tabi snorts, “I bet.”

“Sit down, Selina,” Barbara commands.

Selina drags her feet all the way to the table and Bruce follows. Barbara hands them both plates and presents the food with a wave of her hand.

“Help yourselves,” she tells them, a crazy glint in her eyes.

Bruce doesn’t move so Selina starts putting food on her plate even though she’s not all that hungry for food tonight. “So what’ve you two been up to?”

Selina picks apart a roll and says, “Just ran into each other walking down the street. I don’t know what Bruce was doing ... Bruce?”

She looks over at him and realizes he’s been watching her this whole time. She looks at him funny and says again, “ _Bruce_?”

He smirks at her before drawing his eyes away to acknowledge their dinner hosts. “Just wandering,” he tells them. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“Were you even trying?” Selina asks before she can stop herself.

“Yes,” he says evenly.

“This will help,” Barbara is still smiling and when she smiles like that it makes Selina nervous. She gets up and crosses the kitchen, grabbing two more wine glasses.

Selina immediately puts a hand over the top of hers. “No, thank you.” Her smile is more of a bitter grimace.

Barbara shrugs and turns to Bruce. She’s about to pour wine into his glass when Tabitha rolls her eyes and makes a noise. Barbara raises an eyebrow at her and Tabi says, “Maybe he’d rather have what I’m drinking. How old are you, Bruce?”

His eyebrows furrow and his pause is long enough that Selina looks at him, too. He asks, “What’s the date?”

The women laugh at that and Tabitha hands Barbara her bottle.

* * *

 

She wakes up a few hours later when the front door slams and expects Bruce to be gone but he’s still lying there next to her. It was dark at five P.M. but now it’s almost three in the morning and there’s snow outside her window and it’s light out. As light as nighttime gets, anyway.

Bruce is watching her face.

“Hey,” she says quietly.

She expects him to ignore her or just not answer, but he whispers back, “Hey.” He looks so broken and she almost wishes she didn’t have to see him sober.

She hates herself for thinking it. Even though she didn’t say it out loud she kisses Bruce in apology.

He kisses her back and it starts off neat and careful, unlike every other time they’d kissed in the past few weeks. When they finally break apart, they’re gasping for breath. His body radiates warmth but she doesn’t pull him closer even as she shivers.

Bruce is staring at her face intensely and he doesn’t look happy when he tells her, “I want you.” Then he closes his eyes, leaning his forehead against hers but keeping the distance between their bodies. “I think I’m still drunk.”

“No,” she says. “You didn’t have that much to drink with Barbara and Tabi. Unless you’re drunk from -” She presses her mouth to his quickly, licking his bottom lip. “Is that my mint toothpaste?”

He doesn’t tell her he’d gotten up over an hour ago and finished off both their bottles. He kisses her again. He moves half on top of her so his leg is wedged between both of hers and he keeps kissing her and she can feel that he wants her and he tells her he wants her.

And he’s sober (she thinks) and she’s been working herself up and getting not enough relief ever since he first started showing up here. She wants more than his fingers. And he smells so like himself, like Bruce Wayne and not like the clubs he’d been frequenting because he left to be with her. And his body is a constant weight holding her down his hips digging into hers as he rubs against her.

And the next time she hears, “I want you,” it’s her voice speaking the words and the look in his eyes makes her ache and he can’t undress her fast enough.


	4. Chapter 4

_And you can tear it up_   
_No one tears it up like you_   
_You can rip it up_   
_I can rip it up like you_

“I only come over so you’ll fuck me.”

She can’t remember how exactly they got to this point even though it was only a few minutes ago. She probably mentioned what a dick he was being. Maybe she asked if he was finally done. She thinks she told him he shouldn’t start drinking as soon as he wakes up.

His words sting like she knows they’re supposed to. Selina hasn’t had enough time to put up her walls this morning. She should know better. She does know better.

She’s come to know this Bruce pretty well lately. At least the parts of himself he showed her.

She should have never let this wild, reckless asshole in the door. He’s under her skin now and it feels a bit like being in a trance she can’t snap out of. A few months ago she never would have put up with any of Bruce’s bullshit if he was going to treat her like crap. Even if he wasn’t, she still wouldn’t have put up with any of his bullshit.

It was why she was with Babs and Tabi. They were three strong women. They kicked ass and got money.

“You think I owe you something?” He looks her in the eye and smirks as he pulls on his jacket. She wants to smack that smirk off of his face. “It won’t be a personality change. Here.”

He tosses a thick wad of bills at her and she gasps but he doesn’t wait around to watch her reaction. He opens her door and Selina goes after him. She drops the wad of cash as she hoists the sheet around her. She hastily picks it up and hits her door out of the way.

She throws it back at him and screams, “Fuck you, Bruce!”

He stopped when the money hit the back of his head. When he turns around, he looks like he’s going to laugh. Before he can say what’s so funny, Selina unleashes on him.

“You’re afraid! You’re not good enough! Mommy and Daddy’s little legacy has problems!” She pushes her hair out of her face and goes on, “You’re right! You aren’t good enough!”

“I don’t know why I ever let you into my life.” Bruce steps closer to her but Selina stands her ground.

She’s never let a man intimidate her before, let alone Bruce Wayne, who most definitely was not a man last time she checked three years ago. She’s not about to start, even if there’s this feeling inside her that’s making her feel sick and less like herself.

“You’ll never be good enough.” She hates that her voice cracks. She narrows her eyes and delivers the final blow. “They would be so disappointed in you.”

It’s her turn to storm off without waiting for a reaction and she slams her bedroom door behind her. And if she ignores Barbara knocking on her door because she’s too busy trying to muffle her sobs?

_When you’re in the half light_   
_It is not you I see_   
_And you’ll live a half life_   
_You only show half to me_

The next time she runs into Bruce at a club, she leaves. His eyes meet hers as they always do but she’s swift to look away. She knows she’ll only see what she doesn’t want to. On his face, in his arms. At the club he is never the Bruce Wayne she wants to remember. She doesn’t recognize him anymore.

He doesn’t show up.

_Good_. Selina thinks.

If he did show up, she wouldn’t let him in. Even if he was bleeding out and not just there for his late night bootycall.

She can barely admit to herself that she wants more than that from him, but she knows well enough that she doesn’t want more from this him. Even if she isn’t privy to the Bruce Wayne he is with his friends or the Bruce Wayne he is when he leaves her in the morning. Even if the only Bruce Wayne she’s fully acquainted with these days is the one who shows up wasted to have sex because they ran into each other at the club.

He looks worse every time she sees him but she never looks long anymore. She leaves as soon as she can but still she notices. He looks worse. Less like himself.

Although she supposes this is him now. Drinks and parties and sex with random girls all night until he passes out, then wakes up and does it all again. What kind of life is that?

All those times she ran into him and all those times he showed up at her place and she thought she saw a glimpse of the old Bruce, she must’ve been wrong. Who cares if he stopped sneaking out every time he came over? Who cares that some mornings she started waking up in his arms? Who cares that once or twice he woke up and kissed her forehead before remembering he’s supposed to be an asshole?

She cares. It hurts and she doesn’t want to think about it, but it’s all she can think about, lying in her bed alone at night.

She hates that a part of her hopes he’ll show up. She knows if he does she can’t let him in. Not with his hazy, bloodshot eyes, his clumsy feet, his messy kisses, his roaming hands that’ll take whatever she’s willing to give.

Selina has always wanted to give him everything. It’s just recently that she’s started giving in to that want.


	5. Chapter 5

_And can you shake it off?_   
_Can you shake it off for me?_   
_When you’re in the half light_   
_I don’t like the half I see_

He’s at the Sirens Club. He's leaning forward, elbows resting on his knees. Girls are hanging off of him in his booth. He has a drink in one hand but as far as she can tell he hasn’t had a sip. It’s threatening to spill over the edge and as his eyes meet hers, they’re sharp.

Not angry like she’s used to when he’s sober. They’re intense, focused, sad. He stands up, pulling his limbs out of grasps, ignoring the girls’ protests, ignoring the boys asking where he’s going.

She’s usually quick but something about Bruce slows her down, makes her forget what she was doing. His strides are purposeful as he makes his way towards where she stands at the bar.

Then his hand is on the small of her back, he’s pulling her close, his other hand on the side of her neck. His eyes are dark and they barely meet hers before flicking back down to her lips.

He kisses her and it feels like he’s giving her everything he has. Selina’s not one for PDA but the way he looked at her as if no one else was there and the way his mouth is moving against hers right now, she doesn’t care. Slowly, she links her hands behind his neck.

She can’t decide if she can stay like this forever or if she needs to get out of the club right now. Bruce breaks the kiss and it’s a good thing he did because Selina can see Barbara headed their way.

They’re still too close to be deemed appropriate but Bruce looks satisfied. Not in the smug way she’s gotten used to seeing, but like kissing Selina has made everything fall into place.

Barbara reaches them and she doesn’t look happy. “Selina,” she hisses.

“Miss Kean.” Bruce extends a hand and kisses her cheek. He clears his throat, cheeks a little red. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to borrow Selina for tonight.”

She looks between them, trying to figure out what’s changed since the last time she went looking for Selina and accidentally heard their argument. Bruce slips his hand into Selina’s and says, “Have a nice night,” before pulling her away from the bar.

He turns to his cheering entourage and tosses his keys to Tommy. “Don’t crash it,” is all he says.

As they step outside, Selina questions, “But how are we going to -”

Bruce holds his hand up and a cab pulls over. He kisses Selina, caresses her cheek as his eyes take in every part of her face, then leans down to give the driver an address. He opens the door for her to get in.

The driver pulls away from the curb and Bruce pulls her as close as he can. His arm is around her shoulders and he has a hand on her thigh. She almost wants to laugh when he dips his head to kiss her neck but then she feels him suck on her pulse point and she lets out an involuntary gasp.

Her eyes fall closed and her hand comes up to hold the back of his head, her body pressing against him. He pulls her onto his lap. His hand travels farther up her bare thigh as he kisses up her neck. She feels his fingers creeping under the edge of her short dress.

Selina grabs his chin and forces his face up. He slowly opens his eyes and she barely registers his pupils are blown before she smashes her mouth against his. It hurts but neither of them mind. Unlike in the club, his tongue is in her mouth, his hands are traveling.

She doesn’t know what’s gotten into her. She doesn’t make out in the back of cabs where the drivers can clearly see Bruce Wayne rounding second base with her.

His left hand is resting above her waist, thumb stroking over her hard nipple; his right hand is completely under her dress, fingers digging into her ass cheek. She almost gets over her earlier complaint to Barbara that she couldn’t wear a bra or underwear under the tight and clingy material of this dress.

If the driver doesn’t hurry, he’s going to witness - nope, too late. Bruce’s hand is between her thighs, his ring finger joining his middle finger the next time he pushes inside her.

Their lips break apart with a pop and Selina moans. She’ll remember to be embarrassed later. She buries her face in his neck, kissing him, more teeth than anything.

She changes her statement from a few moments ago. If the driver doesn’t hurry, he’s going to witness full blown sex in the backseat of his cab. Her hand trails down Bruce’s chest. She grasps his belt, his hips push up, and she whispers against his lips, “Shouldn’t we be at Wayne Manor by now?”

“Mm,” he answers, his mouth chasing hers as she arches her back.  


The cab slows and she almost doesn’t want to get out. Bruce removes his hand from under her dress. He opens the door and she slips off of his lap. As he hands the driver a fold of cash, Selina takes in their surroundings.

“What are we doing here?” she questions, wrapping her arms around herself.  


Most of the buildings around them are falling apart. They’ve been abandoned. She hasn’t been back here since ...

“Remember our last night here?” Bruce responds.  


Of course she does. It hadn’t been the last of her places they’d stayed at when Bruce was “living” with her but it had been the place where they’d most felt like anything could happen.

She had been so sure Bruce was going to kiss her that night. Maybe he would have if Ivy hadn’t shown up, bringing a couple of thugs chasing her with.

The look he gives her now is almost regretful. Selina shivers and he pulls her to him, just holds her in his arms.

“Bruce?”  


“Yeah?”  


“Are you okay?” She pulls back and looks at his face. The fact that there are no working streetlights isn’t a problem for her. Maybe he’s forgotten that Selina has good eyesight even in the dark because his mask slips.  


He looks as if he’s barely holding it together. If she reaches out and touches his face, he might crumble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments! You guys are so nice:)
> 
> Also, I tried not to be too explicit cause I'm terrible at it.


	6. Chapter 6

_What possesses you?_   
_What possesses you?_   
_What possesses you?_   
_What possesses you?_

He’s quiet all the way up to her old room. There’s one path of shoe prints fresher than the others but still covered in dust.

They match the new ones Bruce makes now.

She pushes the old squeaky door open and Bruce follows her in, fingers still loosely linked with hers. She’s hit with nostalgia for that night and she doesn’t know why.

Everything is less dusty here than anywhere else in the building and Selina has her suspicions. The kitchen area is on the left, the bathroom to the right. In the middle is the bed. A couple of lamps are still scattered throughout but none of them will work now. Time and no power.

He lets go of her hand and opens the front closet. He pulls a bag of blankets out and Selina helps him lay them out on the bed.

She sits and waits for him to join her but he’s timid and it reminds her of his first kiss. There’s light coming from the window and the curtain slips, almost like a breeze making it billow. She gets up and stands in front of him.

He isn’t an inch shorter than her anymore; she’s more than an inch shorter than him now. She doesn’t plan on escaping out the window this time, but he might.

She stands on her tiptoes and kisses him and he kisses her back but only for a second. She goes flat-footed and he leans his forehead against hers, eyes closed.

“I’m sorry, Selina,” he whispers. “That day ... at yours and Tabitha’s and the things I said ...”

His eyes open and she steps back, arms crossed. “That the only thing you’re sorry for?”

“No,” he says quickly, grabbing her hands. “I know I’ve been -”

“A douchebag.”

He nods.

“Among other things,” she adds.

“Selina.” His voice is urgent. “You mean more to me than anyone I know - except Alfred - but -”

“You don’t want to fuck Alfred.”

Bruce sighs, a little bit of his old impatience with her seeping in and it makes her feel slightly better. “Selina, I’m trying to apologize. I shouldn’t have said anything that I said that day and I feel terrible about it. I treated you like ...”

“A cheap whore,” she supplies.

“I wouldn’t say cheap,” he says. “But yeah, basically.”

“Are you done?”

Bruce squeezes her hands. “I need you to know that you’re not just another girl to me. Everything with you it means -” He gestures vaguely and says, “I want it to mean more, to mean something.”

Selina takes back her hands and hugs her stomach. He’s giving her that feeling again - the one he’s been giving her all night when he looks at her and she knows he wants what she wants but he doesn’t think he can give it to her.

“I understand if you don’t feel the same way,” he says lamely. He shrugs and just like that he says, “But I need to tell you that you mean something. I -”

She surges forward, kissing him to shut him up. She thought she wanted to hear it but she doesn’t. Not now when everything is so fucked up and he seems so sure but she can’t believe that he is. Not after the past few months.

He pushes her away gently, looking much like the first time she’d ever kissed him, except his eyes ... “Selina -”

“Shh,” she says pulling his head down.

He lets her lead him to the bed, lets her unbutton his shirt and slide it down his arms, but he stops her when she reaches for his belt. Selina groans.

“Why’d you bring me here, Bruce?” She throws herself back, feet still planted firmly on the ground.

He looks over his shoulder at her, biting his lip. At this angle moonlight is hitting his neck, illuminating the hicky she gave him in the cab.

Everything about this night feels familiar. The old - the looks he keeps giving her, his caution and lack of confidence, his hesitation and the way he mulls his words over in his head before speaking, the two of them spending the cold night in a place with no heat even though Bruce is a fucking billionaire - joining the present - his mouth on hers, his fingers on her and in her. It’s eerie.

He’s tracing her knee. He takes his time. He’s having a hard time meeting her eyes but he does it.

“I can’t remember any of the girls I’ve had sex with except for you, and even that’s a little fuzzy.” He carefully leans back to lie next to her. “Every time I’ve been so wasted or high that it’s just like a blank slide in my memory. I can’t remember when it happened for the first time or who it was with. If any time was any good. I don’t know if I was careful.

“I can’t take it back. I wish I could, but I can’t.” She hears him swallow. His mouth is dry. “If I could, I would make sure my first time was with you.” He leans up on his elbow and looks down at her face.

The old her would have blushed and rolled her eyes. Now she touches his cheek, assessing the truth of his statement.

She can’t help herself. “It wouldn’t be in the mansion?”

It earns her a small, rueful smile. “Maybe, if Alfred was on vacation or on a date or something. Now it’s just tainted.”

“Bruce,” she says.

“I’m sober tonight, Selina,” he cuts her off so she doesn’t give him some pitying remark. “And I want you, I swear I do. I just wanted you to know it means something with you first. Sex with you means something to me.”

She grabs his shoulder and says, “Of course it does, dummy,” and is surprised when it comes out soft and with  _feeling_  and not at all sarcastic.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little longer than the others to post. It was the shortest section and I wanted to add to it before posting. It still is the shortest section. It's also the last section.
> 
> Thanks for sticking around and reading. If I'd given myself more time, I would've done some things differently but I needed to start posting so I could get back to focusing on studying for finals.
> 
> You guys are so nice even though it's OOC and not the best writing. Thank you for all your kudos and comments. I appreciate it so much! If you have any ideas or requests in the future, let me know! I'd love to write more batcat.

_When you’re in the half light_   
_It is not you I see_   
_And you’ll live a half life_   
_You only show half to me_

She hadn’t bothered to fix the curtain that had fallen down. It wouldn’t have mattered. No one was within a mile radius to see Bruce’s naked body covering hers. They could have been as loud as they wanted and no one would have heard a thing.

She watches him sleep. It’s probably been a few days since he last got any sleep that wasn’t a result of blacking out. She wants to reach out and touch the dark circles under his eyes but doesn’t want to wake him.

His confession plays over and over in her head. Every part, but especially the part where he said, “I would make sure my first time was with you.”

Selina didn’t assume but yeah, she’d assumed she’d be the one to take Bruce’s virginity. Or at least the first girl he got past first base with.

Even if they hadn’t talked for months and she had no intention of forgiving him so easily and he had no intention of letting her in. From the first time she kissed him to the last time before he turned into an actual billionaire brat, something inside her said they were meant to be as her brain insisted it could never work out.

_What a mess. What a fucking mess._  Selina wants to hit something.

All these feelings are messing with her mind and they’re affecting her decisions. Barbara and Tabitha can both tell, she knows.

Selina Kyle. Abandoned. Orphan. Street kid. Cat. A Siren. Bruce Wayne’s fuckbuddy.

She doesn’t think she recognizes -

He reaches out and says her name, groggy, voice thick, “Selina.” When he blinks his eyes open, he pushes himself up so he can look down at her again. His hand pushes her hair away and his fingers rest in her curls. Sometimes the way he looks at her when he first wakes up makes it all feel worth it.

She gets lost if only for a couple of seconds. Every time.

Bruce kisses her and almost immediately deepens the kiss. He falls back and pulls her on top of him and she should really get him to go back to sleep but they’re chest to chest and his hand is squeezing her butt, trying to pull her closer than they already are. Her knees slide down to straddle his hips.

She feels him trying to push into her and she lifts herself up a bit and helps him find what he wants. She hovers, pushing his hips back down as he protests.

He’s staring up at her like  _Really_?

“My legs, Bruce,” she tells him, moving every time he does. Her hand is braced on his chest. She can feel him right there. She’s never wanted anyone as much as she wants Bruce Wayne. She’s never let herself want anyone until him. “You want to have sex  _again_  tonight, you can do the work.”

“Why didn’t you just say that?” He pulls her hips down and pushes fully into her. He bites his lip, hand running up her stomach, keeping his eyes on hers as she squirms, taking a second to adjust.

Then he quickly flips her on her back, her head hangs over the side of the mattress, her knees to her chest. He kisses her messily and groans. “This is so much better sober,” he says into her mouth.

”You like it better sober?” she gasps. “I hadn’t noticed.” She squeaks when he leans back, pulling her with him until she’s on his lap, legs wrapped around his waist. And they’re laughing. When was the last time they laughed together?

When was the last time Bruce laughed? Genuinely.

Drunk Bruce and High Bruce fucked her once or twice before passing out or leaving. Sober Bruce didn’t want to stop.  
  
 _And can you shake it off?_  
 _Can you shake it off for me?_  
 _When you’re in the half light_  
 _I don’t like the half I see ..._

“Bruce?” Selina’s eyes are open and it’s clear she’s been studying his profile for some time now. Watching him watch the moon.

She wonders what he is thinking about. The corruption in Wayne Enterprises? His parents’ murder? Their murderer? Alfred? The many times he’d been kidnapped and held as collateral?

He lies back down and runs a hand over her hair. His eyes are lowered, refusing to meet hers. Then he puts his arm over her stomach under the blanket, taking a deep breath before dropping his head on her shoulder.

It’s like he’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and now he’s on hers. Since when did Selina Kyle think this deeply about things?

Since Bruce Wayne. She guesses.

He tangles their legs like they never would’ve back in the day. She already feels like she’s losing him again.

“Talk to me, Bruce,” she wants to shout. Instead it comes out barely above a whisper. It doesn’t sound like her. His answer doesn’t sound like him - or it does. She keeps forgetting who he is  _now_.

His finger keeps drawing random patterns on her skin. “Not right now,” he mumbles, absently. He sounds so distant, so preoccupied, and when she sits up and he looks at her, she sees the anger. It’s not directed at her, but ...

It’s still there and he still doesn’t know what to do with it. Selina finally admits she’s lost him and herself, too.


End file.
